28 RESTAURANT ETIQUETTE RULES YOU SHOULD IGNORE 


 

Throw the rule book out the window

There are a host of antiquated rules around how to behave in a restaurant. Some make perfect sense to help you navigate the curious world of public eating and drinking. Others, like the request to be aloof with waiters, seem to ask you to be rude. These are the rules you should probably ignore and get on with enjoying yourself.

You must use the right cutlery
The golden rule about working from the outside in still stands, but don’t get too het up about it. The modern preference for wacky cutlery means it’s not always obvious which size fork goes with which course. Really, what’s one soup-shaped spoon among friends?

The man should always pay
It's time to get rid of this notion once and for all. Men can pay and women can pay – even benevolent strangers can secretly pick up the check. The situation should dictate the outcome, not the gender of those involved.

Don't use your phone
Not leaving your phone on the table during a meal and making loud calls are pretty reasonable rules to follow. But if you’re waiting for a friend to arrive and they’re running late, don't worry about sending a message to find out if they’re okay or catching up on an email or two.

Napkins should be carefully placed
Tradition suggests that if you leave the table at the end of a meal, your napkin should be placed on your side plate. If you get up but plan to return during a meal, it should be left on your chair. We’d suggest that placing it anywhere around your place setting is perfectly fine, just avoid the floor or your food.

Don’t put your elbows on the table
Back when tables were seriously wobbly, putting your elbows down could easily topple the table, and your meal, hence this widely-known rule. But tables are made of sturdier stuff these days, so feel free to rest your elbows as you like.

Always use the correct wine glass
The red glass is usually the biggest and tallest, the white has a narrower opening and the water glass is likely to be unstemmed. But it’s not always the case, especially as the trend for wine tumblers seems to know no bounds. Glasses are meant to accentuate different styles of wine, but if the selection of glasses in front of you is pretty similar, using the incorrect glass is unlikely to affect your enjoyment of the wine.

Cutlery must be placed together
The placement of cutlery was once used as a signal to waiters. A knife and fork aligned together in the centre of the plate, top to bottom, meant you were finished, while an upside-down V signalled that you planned to continue. While these ideas are helpful, they're not always necessary. Simply putting down your cutlery and responding ‘yes, we’re finished’ when asked is (unsurprisingly) just as effective.

Never ask for changes to the menu
Just a few years ago intolerances to certain foods were, quite simply, not tolerated. Thankfully today attitudes have mostly improved. If you have a dietary requirement, or are allergic to certain ingredients, don't feel bad about asking to have them removed or replaced to suit your needs. Restrictive menus shouldn't get in the way of a good meal, or medical need.

Give your guest the seat against the wall
It’s usually considered good manners to let your guest take the best seat at the table – but don't assume you know what seat they'd prefer. Some people prefer to face the kitchen so they can watch the action unfold, while others prefer to face out. So don’t presume, ask.

One person should choose the wine
Whether you're dining with a partner or in a group, the wine choice needn't be made by one person alone. Pitch in and share your preferences – the best wine is the one that best suits everyone's taste and budget.

Making the booking means paying the bill
Once upon a time, if you organised a meal or booked the table, the bill was yours to take care of. Thankfully today the person who booked the table is more likely to be the one who had time to call up or make the booking online. Always assume the bill will be shared, unless stated otherwise.

Don't complain
Occasionally, restaurants get it wrong. A dish can be sub-par, a wine can be corked, or things can take longer than they should. In the past too many of us ignored the problem out of politeness, leaving the meal unsatisfied. That doesn't mean you should make a big fuss or complain, just raise any issues at the time in a friendly way and give the restaurant a chance to remedy the situation.

Don't split the bill with more than one person
Out for dinner with five people and want to split the bill? Don't sweat it. Thanks to contactless payments and improved POS systems, this is much easier than it once was. Just do everything you can to help your waiter: decide who's paying what in advance and most importantly make sure you leave a large enough tip.

Place salt on the side of your plate
Today adding an extra sprinkling of salt is like second nature, but in the past diners were expected to place salt on the edge of a plate and dip food into the pile when required. This is one rule we hope will never be resurrected. Grind salt where you want: life’s too short.

Don't mop your plate with bread
Bread is the ideal tool to mop up any fantastic sauces left on your plate. Yes, it might be frowned on in stuffier restaurants, but if the sauce is that good, why leave it on the plate and risk insulting the chef?

Only pass bread to the right
It may come as a shock, but you're actually meant to pass bread to the right when dining with more than one guest. The reality is that it makes much more sense to pass it to the person who's ready to take a piece of bread, rather than someone who's reading the menu or adjusting their cutlery. We say offer bread in any order you like.

Never use your fork as a scoop
Some people still consider it impolite to use a fork to ‘scoop’ food off the plate. But what's the point in struggling on hopelessly with a plateful of peas while holding the fork pointing downwards? Forget old-school etiquette and use a fork to do what it was intended for: getting food into your mouth.

Always pronounce dishes correctly
Most menus use lots of unnecessary and confusing terms. It's time we stopped worrying about pronouncing them correctly. Give a word a go and see where you land. You never know, if several people get confused the restaurant might get the hint and use words more people understand.

Formally ‘check’ the wine
There’s an awkward ritual where someone has to sniff and taste the wine to check it’s not corked, or otherwise faulty. But it doesn’t need to be this way. You can choose to just smell the wine (it’s off, you'll know by the taste) or ask the waiter to pour the wine without first tasting it. Young wines, particularly those with screw caps, are unlikely to be faulty.

Never tuck a napkin under your chin
Tucking your napkin into your collar and going gung-ho at a whole lobster makes perfect sense to us. The ‘no napkin as bib’ rule means missing out on some of the world's greatest eating experiences. Just try to read the situation and act accordingly.

Cutlery is always necessary
It's time to loosen rules around cutlery, particularly given that in many cuisines it's more polite to use chopsticks, a flatbread, or even your hand. Sure, there's a case for soup spoons for soup and steak knives for tough meat, but beyond that opt for cutlery that gives you the most enjoyment from your meal.

Use the ‘correct’ cheese knife
Believe it or not, there’s a cheese knife designed for almost every cheese. So many, in fact, there’s no way even the biggest cheese lover is likely to remember which goes with which. Instead of worrying, stick to an obvious rule of thumb: try not to use the same knife for cheeses with different consistencies or colours. So don't smear blue cheese over a cheddar, but using the same knife for stilton and roquefort is probably okay.

Never talk about going to the bathroom
Some etiquette guides suggest you shouldn’t announce your departure to the bathroom, but instead excuse yourself without saying where you’re going. But how do your friends know you’ve not had a better offer and abandoned them completely? Or snuck off to pay the bill in full? Draw the line at telling them what you’re going to the bathroom for, but otherwise it’s fine to explain why you’re getting up from the table.

Keep salt and pepper together
In theory salt and pepper should always be passed as a seasoning duo, an inseparable pair with a singular purpose. “Please pass the salt” should result in the swift arrival of both the salt and the pepper. But we think that’s silly. They’re two different tools to solve two different problems, so just pass the one required.

Always dress smartly
Casual dining is big business: gone are the days of restaurants requiring ties, dresses and high heels (with the exception of a misguided bar in Japan, which offered disｃounts for diners in stilettos). Restaurants should be fun, enjoyable, convivial and places you want to spend time. If you're going somewhere fancy, you should look presentable – but don't let a restaurant dictate what you should wear.

You should help others sit down
Fortunately it’s no longer necessary to help someone find their way into their dining chair at a restaurant and to shuffle it under the table for them. We’re pretty well-practised at furniture these days and not only can we leave a table undisturbed (see elbows), we’re okay at sitting down too.

Don't make friends with staff
Perhaps surprisingly there was a time when being overly nice or enthusiastic with restaurant staff was seen as a bad thing. Aloof was in, friendliness was out. We say greet warmly, tip generously and chat honestly. But above all, try to read the situation. If the staff are busy, don’t hog their time. If they're happy to chat, make the most of it.

The eldest should offer to pay
Traditionally the eldest person at the table paid the bill. Sometimes there's an argument for this rule, such as a parent or mentor taking someone younger for the odd free meal if they're studying or in a low-paid job. But how seriously should you really take this approach? If you're sitting with friends and working out who’s the oldest by a week, it's time for a reality check.

Article Source: https://www.lovefood.com/galleries/71319/28-restaurant-etiquette-rules-you-should-ignore?page=1
Image Source: http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/images/Restaurant-table-setting.jpg

VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Antiquated (adj.) ~ old-fashioned or outdated
2. Aloof (adj.) ~ not friendly or forthcoming cool and distant
3. Benevolent (adj.) ~ well meaning and kindly
4. Topple (v.) ~ overbalance or become unsteady and fall slowly
5. Sturdy (adj.) ~ strong enough to withstand rough work or treatment
6. Sub-par (adj.) ~ below an average level
7. Dictate (v.) ~ control or decisively affect determine
8. Hog (v./ informal) ~ keep or use all of (something) for oneself in an unfair or selfish way

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. When you eat out with your colleagues, do you go to a formal dining restaurant or a casual one? Which one do you prefer?
2. Are there some dining etiquette that you have to remember when you are having a meal with your colleagues? How about with your boss or supervisors?
3. Do you think that social etiquettes, such as in dining, are constricting or are they helpful in building relationships? Discuss your answer.