4 Easy Tactics to Make More Meaningful Connections
Humans are a quirky lot. We like to believe we’re hyper logical, but our behaviorand researchsuggest otherwise.
We’re heavily swayed by the people, messages, and circumstances around usbut, wait, this is actually a good thing! Understanding the peculiarities of our psychology can be advantageous.
Specifically, there are four psychological insights that you can use as a starting point to build strategic relationships and garner goodwill throughout your network.
Why do this?
Well, to get ahead, of course. I’m not talking about manipulation. I’m talking about making small, simple moves to cultivate professional relationships and be more likable.
1. Show Up
If you want to connect with someone, you have to be near that person, preferably in the same physical space.
Obvious, right?
But there’s some interesting research that suggests that people tend to favor people they’ve seen beforeeven if they didn’t interactover those they’ve never laid eyes on. And, the more they see those individuals the more they like them (this also works on things, FYI).
Known as the Mere Exposure Effect, it suggests that a starting point for connecting with others is creating opportunities for paths to cross.
How to Do It
Get creative, but don’t go overboard. If there’s someone you want to connect with, maybe you find yourself grabbing coffee at the same time, or you strike up conversation while you both wait for the elevator.
Why it Matters
You can’t connect with someone you never see. There are lots of ways to pursue an introduction to a key person, but just getting in front of them first may boost your likability and improve your chances of hitting it off when you do meet.
2. Find Common Ground
In The Best Place To Work: The Art and Science of Creating an Extraordinary Workplace Ron Freeman explains, “The more we have in common with others…the more we tend to like them.”
This similarity doesn’t have to be a deep, philosophical belief, nor does it need to be work-related. You might like a certain musician, app, gamewhatever. The options for finding common ground are endless.
How to Do It
Be genuine. Surely, you can find one area to connect on, and when you do, don’t forget it. Build off of your mutual interest in cold brew coffee or outdoor concerts, and find a way to work it into future conversations.
Why it Matters
Discovering you share a similarity with a co-worker helps to form a trusting relationship. And when you have trust, there’s room to grow and collaborate together.
3. Be a Giver
Several years ago I helped a friend move in the sweltering Texas heat. It was a truly miserable day. But I did it because my friend had helped me in the past. Enter the rule of reciprocity. In his book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success Adam Grant details how “givers” often come out ahead in the long run compared with “matchers” and “takers,” in no small part because their actions endear themselves to others.
How to Do It
Think of a problem you can solve or practical aid you can offer someone you want to connect with. Even just lending something small can work beautifully: “I read this book recently about leadership I thought you might enjoy reading it, too.”
Why it Matters
With gestures like these, you’re not only proving your chops as a dependable colleague and team player, you’re setting yourself up to be able to request help when you need it. That’s importantconsidering that no one makes it to the top without support.
4. Do as They Do
If you really want to boost your likeability, research out of Duke Universitysuggests mimicking the person you’re talking to. That’s rightdo as they do and speak as they speak. When you understand how this dynamic can literally make you better liked, it’s a no-brainer thing to begin doing.
How to Do It
The key here is subtletyoverdoing it could backfire. If the other person leans forward as they speak to you, gently lean forward as well. Don’t get caught up in trying to literally copy every move. You want to look natural, not forced.
Why it Matters
Mimicry is part of what connects us to others. It signals our alignment with the person we mimic. In fact, people intentionally behave differently from people they don't want to be associated with.
Bear in mind that none of these approaches are magic. These are, at the end of the day, simply insights that might be helpful if used correctly. If you want to build strong professional relationships and be liked, start by treating others well, use these psychological insights to give you an edge.
Article Source: http://inc-asean.com/grow/4-easy-tactics-make-meaningful-connections/
Image Source: http://www.peterborner.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/connections.jpg
VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Quirky (adj.) ~ characterized by peculiar or unexpected traits
2. Peculiarity (n.) ~ an odd or unusual feature or habit
3. Garner (v.) ~ gather or collect (something, especially information or approval)
4. Sweltering (adj.) ~ uncomfortably hot
5. Reciprocity (n.) ~ the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, especially privileges granted by one ｃountry or organization to another
6. No-brainer (adj.) ~ something that requires or involves little or no mental effort
7. Backfire (v.) ~ (of a plan or action) rebound adversely on the originator have the opposite effect to what was intended
8. Insight (n.) ~ the capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. Do you easily connect with other people? If yes, how do you do that? If no, what do you think is the problem?
2. Why is it helpful to have a common ground with people you meet for you to build a better connection?
3. Do you consider yourself to be a giver? Is it always a good thing? Discuss your opinion.
