11 Conversation Tips That Make You More Likely To Make Friends
Simple conversation can sometimes be, well, kind of hard. Especially for those of us on the shyer end of the spectrum or who aren't super comfortable with new people. It's why knowing ways to become more likable can actually majorly help us out when it comes to socializing in new environments, like at parties or networking events. And the thing is, socializing is like a muscle — the more you do it, the easier it gets.
If you're looking to up your socializing game, here are 11 hacks for being super likable in conversation.
1. Seem Attentive
This tip comes from me: nothing is less appealing than talking to someone who is clearly scanning the room for someone else they want to talk to or checking their phone. Making the person you're talking to feel like they are the most interesting thing in the room will instantly win you a fan. Plus, seeming distracted is just rude.
2. Mimic
The Social Psychology Bulletin noted that subtly mimicking the person you're talking to sends subtle signals that you're engaged and interested — and even attracted. This will instantly help you send good vibes.
3. End on a High Note
A piece for Psychology Today by psychologist Ryan Anderson noted that people generally remember the first and last things in a conversation best. So greet them with a smile and compliment, and think about ending the conversation a little earlier than you might usually — before you run out of interesting things to say.
4. Chew Gum
Did you know that chewing gum can help reduce stress? According to a study featured in Confectionarynews.com, a study out of Japan showed that chewing gum for ten minutes can reduce anxiety. So grab a stick before socializing if you're nervous.
5. Use Names
Anderson also noted that studies show people really like hearing their own names, so one of the best ways to endear you to someone quickly is by using theirs. This is also good incentive to actually remember people's names when introduced.
6. Make Eye Contact
This is another personal tip, but you can read it on ｃountless articles about making a good first impression. There's just something about someone who is confident enough to look you in the eyes that makes you instantly trust them. Plus, good eye contact shows the other person you're not bored.
7. Smile
According to a Business Insider piece on habits of exceptionally likable people, likable people smile a lot. It instantly cues others that you're friendly and open, and helps put them at ease.
8. Act Confident
According to a study out of Harvard, confidence actually matters more than physical attractiveness when it comes to getting dates. They note this is likely because confident people often smile more and make better eye contact — little cues that a person is trustworthy. My advice for shyer people is to pretend like you're putting on a show — acting more confident can be as easy as getting into character.
9. Make the Other Person Comfortable
And a final tip from me: focus less on how you feel, and more on making the other person comfortable. I find this instantly makes me more attentive to what the person is saying, as well as makes me come across as more confident and self-assured. I think of myself as the "host," even if it's not technically my party. I usually find most people are relieved that someone took the initiative to break the ice.
10. Ask For Advice
According to Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer in a piece for Time Magazine, asking others for advice is a super quick way to ingratiate yourselves with them, because it shows that you value their opinion. If you're about to make a new purchase but can't decided between two models, bring it up in conversation. Or keep it as simple as asking the other person, which fancy cocktail they think would taste best.
11. Gossip... Positively
According to that same Time Magazine piece, people often associate what you say about others to how they feel about you. That means if the first words out of your mouth are critical or negative, other people will start have a less positive impression of you overall. Instead, mention something that you love about another person at a party, point out an outfit you love.
Being likable isn't rocket science. Just make sure you seem interested and attentive, and remember — you have a ton to offer.
Article Source: https://www.bustle.com/articles/159747-11-conversation-tips-that-make-you-more-likely-to-make-friends
Image Source: http://www.kidsgen.com/events/friendshipday/images/friends.jpg
VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Ingratiate (v) - Bring oneself into favor with someone by flattering or trying to please them
Example: Make contacts, ingratiate yourself to people, impress them, and charm them.
2. Gossip (n) - A conversation about other people
Example: She appears here as a more amiable figure, fond of a good gossip, and with an endless fund of stories.
3. Endear (v) - Cause to be loved or liked
Example: Flora's spirit and character endeared her to everyone who met her.
4. Subtle (adj) - making use of clever and indirect methods to achieve something
Example: He tried a more subtle approach.
5. Mimic (v) - imitate (someone or their actions or words), typically in order to entertain or ridicule
Example: She mimicked Eileen's voice.
6. Anxiety (n) - a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome
Example: He felt a surge of anxiety.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. How do you make friends?
2. Is it important to socialize? Why do you say so?
3. How do you pay attention to the person you’re talking to?
4. Do you agree that chewing gum can help reduce stress? Discuss your answer.
5. Do you agree that you can fake your confidence? Explain your opinion.
6. From the 11 tips mentioned above, which ones are the easiest and the hardest to do in making friends?
